Defense Against Crime

14/10/2015

Trying to Understand Domestic Assault

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Is you search this blog you can read all the information that we have written on the issue. This year I am writing trying to help us understand the issue and why victims need to speak out and find help. If you know someone in a toxic relationship, you must do something. Domestic violence like all evils thrives when we are silent; but if we take a stand and work together, we can put a huge dent domestic violence statistics.

Let’s go back to that special day, when the couple is standing in front of someone performing a wedding ceremony.  In

Couple holding hands

Your Happy Day

most Christians wedding include the reading of Frist Corinthians chapter 13, verses four through eight which states.

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.

Nowhere in this passage does it say that love should hurt.

After some more traditional wedding ritual things…the minister then turns to the bride and ask  “do you take Groom to be your husband; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?”

You say “I do”

And he will ask the groom a similar question to which he says “I do”

Next comes the honeymoon and all is right in the world, after a time something starts to change.

One day you say something, or forget something, and do something, and that man who promised to love you explodes, and hits you over and over.

Your nightmare begins.

The reasons are many.k0753024

The excuses are many.

They cry, they say they are sorry…they say it will never happen again.

You think you never should have done that.

After a while you want out but you are scared.

Perhaps he threatens you.

Perhaps you feel you need to be a good wife and support him.

This drama or something like this plays out happens on average EVERY 9 Seconds in the Unites States.

Some politicians aren’t sympathetic to victim. While I live near Charleston, SC which is ranked one of the favorite tourist, and friendliest city in the United States. South Carolina is one of the deadliest states towards women.  In 2005 State Rep. John Graham Altman’s said in comments to Kara Gormley  “I mean you women want it one way and not another. Women want to punish the men, and I do not understand why women continue to go back around men who abuse them.”  He later apologized, but we know that what’s in your heart come out of your mouth.  In 2012 Governor Nikki Haley vetoes funds for sexual assault and domestic violence prevention programs.

In 2014 South Carolina was ranked second highest in the nation for the rate of women murdered by men, having previously ranked in the top ten for the past twelve years.

In 2015, South Carolina again ranked worst in the nation for deadly violence against women, according to a report released Tuesday by the Violence Policy Center. Ranking first among states for women murdered by men, South Carolina had a rate of 2.32 women killed per 100,000 people in 2013, the latest year for which statistics are available.T hat’s more than twice the national average and represents 57 known deaths, compared with 50 a year earlier, according to the study.

To counter the culture of domestic violence in South Carolina, Governor Haley established the Domestic Violence Task Force to comprehensively address the cultural issues surrounding domestic violence in the State of South Carolina, including social, economic, and geographic issues as well as professional standards and best practices within government and non-government organizations.  Given the track record of government task forces, we can only hope that something meaningful come out of all the money they will be spent.

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic Violence is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence. Other terms for domestic violence include intimate partner violence, battering, relationship abuse, spousal abuse, or family violence.

Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, income, or other factors.  Both Women and men can be victims of domestic violence.  The reported statistics are that on average 1 in 5 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

There is no direct cause or explanation why domestic violence happens, it is caused by the abuser or perpetrator. The may causes can be psychological, or emotional or other.

WHY DO PEOPLE STAY IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS?

One of the most common questions people ask about victims of domestic violence is, “Why don’t they just leave?” People stay in abusive relationships for a variety of reasons including:

  • The victim fears the abuser’s violent behavior will escalate if (s)he tries to leave.
  • The abuser has threatened to kill the victim, the victim’s family, friends, pets, children and/or himself/herself.
  • The victim loves his/her abuser and believes (s)he will change.
  • The victim believes abuse is a normal part of a relationship.
  • The victim is financially dependent on the abuser.
  • The abuser has threatened to take the victim’s children away if (s)he leaves.
  • The victim wants her/his children to have two parents.
  • The victim’s religious and/or cultural beliefs preclude him/her from leaving.
  • The victim has low self-esteem and believes (s)he is to blame for the abuse

Top 10 states in rate of women killed by men 2014

  1. Alaska
  2. South Carolina
  3. Oklahoma
  4. Louisiana
  5. Mississippi
  6. Nevada
  7. Missouri
  8. Arizona
  9. Georgia
  10. Tennessee

WHAT YOU CAN DO!

  • If you are a victim, GET HELP!
  • If you suspect that someone close to you is being abused or has been sexually assaulted, gently ask if you can help. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline for 24 hour assistance at 1-800-799-SAFE.
  • Talk to your faith leaders about domestic violence. Discuss ways in which your faith community can promote healthy relationships, provide support to victims and their children, and send clear messages that domestic violence is not acceptable.
  • If a relative, friend, classmate, colleague, or teammate is abusing his partner — or is disrespectful or abusive to girls and women in general — don’t look the other way. If you feel comfortable doing so, try to talk to him about it. Urge him to seek help. If you don’t know what to do, consult a domestic violence program. Don’t remain silent.

PepperEyes.com Self-Defense Safety and Security Products is dedicated to providing you with the best and most affordable self-defense products, and safety products on the market to meet the security needs of you, your family members or your business, by assisting anyone who is unwilling to become a victim of crime.  If you want to take personal responsibility for protection, home security, business security, purchase our high quality discount self-defense products and arm yourself with the knowledge about self-defense and security products and information of the best way to stay secure in an ever-increasing violent world. In today’s society, being equipped mentally and physically is no longer an option.

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