Defense Against Crime

November 15, 2012

Get a Stun Gun for Christmas – Just don’t test it on yourself!

The Christmas and winter holiday season are around the corner and perhaps you have been pondering what to purchase your loved ones as a present. You could get a new 50 inch flat inch TV, or perhaps a new Diamond ring, or a new bath robe. Each year it seems to be more difficult to get the right gift for that person who just seems to have everything. Why not get a present that says I care about you and what you to be safe? A would bet that the one thing they’re probably not expecting is a nice shinny Stun Gun. What better to give someone you love than the security of a personal Protection product?

Some crime experts are projecting widening pockets of crime for the United States. Unsure unemployment rates and underemployment, uncertain inflation rates and just a sincere lack of hope, and increase desperation is expected to contribute to an increase in crime. Robberies, rapes, assaults, murders, burglaries and muggings have be undergoing up in suburban, urban and even rural area and away from the big cities. A Stun Gun may be just a great means of self-defense. They aren’t lethal, so most users feel relatively “at ease” in picking them up and getting familiar with them.

But a stun gun, pepper spray or even Taser gun might just be the best present you could invest in. While recommend that you by quality products, we don’t suggest that you test them on your self…as in the following famous Stun Gun Story

Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest.

The occasion was our 15th anniversary, (We had married at Christmas time), and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized stun gun.

The effects of the stun gun were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse effect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety….??

WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.

Nothing! I was disappointed.

I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and stun gun in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5′ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, ‘no possible way!’

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best…?

I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head tilted to one side as to say, ‘don’t do it dipshit,’ reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad.

I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and ..

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . .

WHAT THE HELL!!! ??????

I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, and then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again.

I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Personal Note:

If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a stun gun, one note of caution:

There is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your by a violent thrashing about on the floor.

A three second burst would be considered conservative?

SON-OF-A-****, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I soiled myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair.

I’m still looking for my scrotum and I’m offering a substantial reward for their safe return!!

P.S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid

PepperEyes.com is dedicated to providing you with the best and most affordable personal protection products on the market to meet the security needs of you, your family members or your business, by assisting anyone who is unwilling to become a victim of crime. If you want to take personal responsibility for yourself, your home or your business, purchase our high quality discount personal protection products and arm yourself with the knowledge of the best way to stay secure in an ever-increasing violent world. In today’s society being equipped mentally and physically is no longer an option. PepperEyes.com is a division of Onyx Knight Enterises

2 Comments

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