R-U-N an Abusive Relationship?

Are you in an Abusive Relationship? How can you tell? Almost half the phone calls I get for people looking to purchase pepper spray or a stun gun are trying to protect themselves in an abusive relationship. Needless to say PepperEyes.com bends over backward to provide our customers with the best products as well as the best advice.

Here are some facts.

• 1 IN 4 WOMEN, 1 IN 9 MEN IN UNITED STATES ARE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIVES.
• Acts of domestic violence occur every 13 seconds in the United States.
• 3 out of 4 (74%) respondents personally know someone who is or has been a victim of domestic violence.
• 83% percent of respondents strongly agreed that domestic violence affects people in all racial, ethnic, religious, educational, social and economic backgrounds.
• Approximately 33 million or 15% of all U.S. adults, admit that they were a victim of domestic violence
• 1 in 4 teens (24%) reported feeling pressure to date; 14% said they would do almost anything to keep a boyfriend or girlfriend.30% reported worrying about their personal physical safety in a relationship.
• 20% of those who have been in a serious relationship have been hit, slapped, or pushed by a boyfriend or girlfriend
• Seventy-five percent of murder-suicides occurred in the home.

Those who are abusive engage in a pattern of behavior to maintain power and control over their intimate and often timid partner. These actions can be any combination of the following behaviors.

• PHYSICAL – including but not limited to pushing, shoving, slapping, punching, choking or confining.
• SEXUAL – including but not limited to rape, unwanted sexual contact, or forced sexual activity.
• PSYCHOLOGICAL – including but not limited to verbal abuse, intimidation, limiting your activities, isolating you from your friends/family, taking your paycheck, attacking your self-esteem, threats of suicide, custody fights, or controlling your financial resources.
• DESTRUCTION – including but not limited to your pet, or any property of any item important of value to you.

Whatever form abuse takes, it is always intended to instill fear in the victim.

Signs of a an abuser

Before an abuser starts physically assaulting his victim, he typically demonstrates his abusive tactics through certain behaviors. The following are warning signs and some common examples of the hidden Mr. Hyde:

• Pushes for quick involvement. Claims “love at first sight,” and pressures you for commitment.
• If the abuser is male, he believes in stereotyped gender roles and male supremacy. Dominates partner, requires conformity to traditional roles. Some of this can be caused by culture or religious indoctrination.
• Blames YOU for “provoking” the abuse.
• Abusive in past relationships. Abuse is not situational; it carries over from one relationship to the next. (Why did he break up with his Ex?)
• Very jealous and possessive. Wants to Isolates YOU from your friends and family. Often accuses YOU of flirting, or cheating (infidelity). Doesn’t want you to work- keep you home.
• The Dual Personality (Good Kirk vs. Evil Kirk) those around you see your partner as a good partner and parent, but behind closed doors, abuser is angry and aggressive.
• Experiences most emotions in the form of anger. Difficulty in communicating other emotions. Expresses anger with aggression.
• Their violent temper may include hitting or throwing objects, and often at YOU.
• Uses sex as a form of aggression. Sex is imposed or forced rather than mutual.
• Dependent on YOU for their all emotional needs, blames others for own feelings. Unrealistic expectations of relationship.
• Easily insulted, takes small setbacks as personal attacks. Hypersensitive. This person Is always right (in their own mind).
• This abuser tends to be cruel to animals and/or children. Punishes them brutally, has unrealistic expectations of their abilities, insensitive to their suffering.
• The abuser is quick to change moods. Charming one minute, abusive the next. Depressed.
• The abuser often checks up on YOUR whereabouts, activities, spending, etc. Claims to be concerned for YOUR safety, but intent is to monitor behavior and control decisions.

What to Do if this is You?

“Daleks—aim for the eyestalk. Sontarans—back of the neck. Vashta Abusive Relationship—run. Just run.”

1. One know that You have help, you have a place to go, you have a place, and people who CAN and WILL HELP YOU.
2. Talk with someone you trust. A teacher, a guidance counselor, a doctor, a friend or parent.
3. Make a safety plan. Ask for and get help. These are Lots of National and Local places that can help you, including most times your local police. Some of these places include
   1. National Domestic Violence Hotline:     (800) 799-SAFE
   2. RAINN
   3. National Sexual Assault Hotline: (800)-656-HOPE
   4. Look in your yellow pages for women’s shelters.
   5. Your Plan
      1. Practice how to het out of the house QUICKLY. Think about all escape routes.
      2. Don’t get trapped in the kitchen (too many weapons that can be used on you). Avoid the bathroom (hard surfaces, to room to dodge blows). Stay out of rooms with guns or knives.
      3. Considering making a safe room. The ultimate lock on a solid bedroom door will give you a place to call of help on your hidden cell phone. Do you know any charged cell phone will call 9-1-1.
      4. Devise a code word to use with family and friends. Work out a signal with a neighbor that would alert them to call the police (lights switched on/off, banging on walls, etc)
      5. Consider all options ahead of time. Can you pack and emergency bag and leave it with friends or family?
         1. Have copies of yours and your children important ID (driver’s license, birth certificate, SS Cards)
         2. Have copies of your important financial documents and a hidden deposit of money, checking/saving account
         3. Legal papers
         4. Medical records,
         5. Address/phone book
         6. Keys
         7. Clothing
         8. photos
      6. In an attack, can you flee to a nearby public place (hospital, church, shopping center, etc). Identify the closest police sub-station or fire station; go there if you are being followed.
      7. Teach your children not to intervene in a fight. Instead, teach them how to get to safety, to call 9-1-1, and to give your address to the operator or police.

         LEAVING AN ABUSER can be DANGEROUS. HAVE A PLAN TO GET TO SAEFTY
         

PepperEyes.com is dedicated to providing you with the best and most affordable personal protection products on the market to meet the security needs of you, your family members or your business, by assisting anyone who is unwilling to become a victim of crime.  If you want to take personal responsibility for yourself, your home or your business, buy our high quality discount personal protection products and arm yourself with the knowledge of the best way to stay secure in an ever-increasing violent world. In today’s society being equipped mentally and physically is no longer an option – Victor Swindell

Have your heard of R.A.D?

As part of our ongoing series during Sexual Assault Awareness Month, we are providing you with additional options other than having pepper spray. One of the other tools that we recommend for your self –defense arsenal is a good self-defense class. Last week, we introduced you to KRAV MAGA. This week we want to introduce you to another self-defense course to called Rape Aggression Defense System. The RAD system in primarily taught to college students who are in a key college statistic for sexual assault.

The Facts

• College statistics show one in four college women surveyed are victims of rape or attempted rape.
• 85% of rapes on campus are acquaintance rapes.
• One in six female college students reported having been a victim of rape or attempted rape during the preceding year

The Rape Aggression Defense System is a program of realistic self-defense tactics and techniques designed for women. The R.A.D. System is a comprehensive, women-only course that begins with awareness, prevention, risk reduction and risk avoidance, while progressing on to the basics of hands-on defense training. R.A.D. is not a Martial Arts program. The courses are taught by nationally certified R.A.D. Instructors and provide each student with a work book/reference manual. The manual provided outlines the entire Physical Defense Program for reference and continuous personal growth, and is the key to our free lifetime return and practice policy for R.A.D. graduates. The R.A.D Systems of Physical Defense is currently being taught at many leading Colleges and Universities. If you are not sure if it is being provided at the college you’re attending or interested in please contact your campus safety office.

About the Class

The RAD class is taught over a period of 12 hours broken down into 4 sessions, of 3 hours each. The first class is an overview and discussion on risk reduction and prevention utilizing the R.A.D. student manual. The next two classes consist of learning and practicing, practicing, practicing hands-on physical defense moves. The final class is a simulation of an attack and different “simulated assault. This is the class where everything the student learns comes together.

The students must attend all four classes to complete the course. Simulation is strictly voluntary and the students can still complete the class if they choose not to volunteer; but they must be present. The vast majority of women who perform the simulation leave with a feeling of empowerment.

Two Great Benefits

Once a student has graduated from the class, she becomes a lifetime member, with two great benefits. Once completing the class, the student/alumni can go anywhere in the United States and Canada where RAD is offered and attend a class for free, providing that there is room in the class. They can attend the entire course or just a simulation to brush up on their techniques. The second benefit is that they are armed with the knowledge and skills to help them be safe.

Why R.A.D.?

• R.A.D. is the largest network of its kind with thousands Instructors receiving training in our systems to date. These Instructors teach at various colleges, universities, and municipal law enforcement agencies as well as various other community organizations internationally. R.A.D. has trained more than 300,000 women since the program began in 1989.
• R.A.D. has developed specialized simulation techniques and equipment for use by certified R.A.D. instructors.
• R.A.D. is the only self-defense program ever endorsed by the International Association of Campus Law Enforcement Administrators (IACLEA).

Other Related Articles

• An Education you’ll never forget
• College Women ..Beware
• Reducing Sexual Assault on College Campuses

PepperEyes.com is dedicated to providing you with the best and most affordable personal protection products on the market to meet the security needs of you, your family members or your business, by assisting anyone who is unwilling to become a victim of crime. If you want to take personal responsibility for yourself, your home or your business, buy our high quality discount personal protection products and arm yourself with the knowledge of the best way to stay secure in an ever-increasing violent world. In today’s society being equipped mentally and physically is no longer an option. – Victor Swindell

Have you heard of Krav Maga?

During Sexual Assault Awareness Month our goal is provide you with the necessary information that can help reduce your chances of becoming a victim of a sexual assault or rape. We are a huge advocate of non-lethal means to defend yourself, but we stress that you need to exercise all your options to defend yourself. There are often times that you can reach for your pepper spray quick enough, or you happen to be in a location where you can’t carry it. There are non-government places of employment that do not allow their employees to carry pepper spray, which in my opinion put them at risk of being attacked. So what are your options? I strongly urge you to take a self-defense course. This article focuses on Krav Maga. Many people have heard of Karate, Judo or other martial arts styles. Krav Maga is the official self-defense and fighting system used and developed by the Israeli defense forces and is preferred by many US law enforcement agencies. It is a wholly unique and original method. Krav Maga was developed and refined during years of conflict. It emphasizes easy to learn techniques that have been battle tested in real, life threatening confrontations.

It is a diverse hand-to-hand self-defense system developed in Israel that involves striking techniques, wrestling and grappling, mostly known for its enormously proficient and brutal counter-attacks, and is taught to Israeli Defense Forces (IDF). This self defense-method was derived from street-fighting skills developed by Imi Lichtenfeld, who made use of his training as a boxer and wrestler, as a means of defending the Jewish quarter against fascist groups in Bratislava in the mid- to late-1930s. In the late-1940s, following his immigration to Israel, he began to provide hand-to-hand combat training to what was to become the IDF, who went on to develop the system that became known as Krav Maga. It has since been refined for civilian, police and military applications. There are several organizations teaching variations of Krav Maga internationally.

The training program is designed not only teach you how to protect yourself and your loved ones, but as a bonus it will get you into the best shape of your life. Although Krav Maga utilizes many techniques with other martial arts, such as karate, boxing, savate, muay thai, Jiu Jitsu, judo, kobudo and wrestling, the training is often quite different. It stresses fighting under worst-case conditions or from disadvantaged positions (for example, against several opponents, when protecting someone else, with one arm unusable, when dizzy, or against armed opponents).

It is a simple, effective self-defense system that emphasizes instinctive movements, practical techniques, and realistic training scenarios. Krav Maga also shows you how to defend yourself against the use of weapons such as knives and sticks. This weapon technique is taught to deal with modern-day street situations where guns and knives are often involved. The techniques of Krav Maga are highly practical and effective for the street. Individuals can attain a high level of proficiency within a relatively short period of instruction.

If you are interested in learning this self-defense method you can do an internet search for local classes.

The Charleston Krav Maga offers FREE Self-Defense classes for women. Check to see if such classes are available in your area.

Resources:

• Charleston Krav Maga
  
• Krav Maga On-Line
  
• Krav Mago Worldwide (find local classes here)
  http://www.revgear.com/category/Krav_Maga

PepperEyes.com is dedicated to providing you with the best and most affordable personal protection products on the market to meet the security needs of you, your family members or your business, by assisting anyone who is unwilling to become a victim of crime. If you want to take personal responsibility for yourself, your home or your business, buy our high quality discount personal protection products and arm yourself with the knowledge of the best way to stay secure in an ever-increasing violent world. In today’s society being equipped mentally and physically is no longer an option.- Onyx Knight Enterprises

The Different Types of Sexual Assault

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. What do you know about Sexual Assault and its various forms?

Here are some facts on Sexual Assault in the United States.

• Every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted.
  
• 1 in every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime.
  
• 1 in 4 women in college reported experiencing an attempted or a completed rape in college.
  
• 80% – 90% of sexual assault survivors know their perpetrator.
  

Sexual assault can come in various forms. In order to better inform you of what it entails, we have included definitions of different types of sexual assault, as well as other kinds of violence that often arise hand-in-hand with sexual assault.

What is Sexual Assault

The exact definition of “rape,” “sexual assault,” “sexual abuse” and similar terms varies by state. The term can get confusing, since each state often uses different words to mean the same thing or use the same words to describe different things. So, for a precise legal definition, you need to check the law in your state. But here are some general guidelines based on the definitions used by the U.S. Justice Department.

Sexual assault is unwanted sexual contact that stops short of rape (vaginal, anal, or oral penetration) or attempted rape. This includes sexual touching and fondling. (In some states this term interchangeably with rape.)

Rape is forced sexual intercourse, including vaginal, anal, or oral penetration. Penetration may be by a body part or an object.

Some examples of sexual assault are voyeurism (peeping Tom), when a person sees private sexual acts; exhibitionism, when a person exposes him or herself in public or self pleasure his or herself in public (etc).; incest, when there are sexual relations among members of a same family; and sexual harassment. The sick people who commit these crimes DO EXISTS in our Society in all social, race, financial, religious or other human groups. These crimes may occur in various circumstances. You can be attacked by someone you do not know in a lonely place, on a planned date or even in the home of someone that you know. Statistically 60% of the victims know their offender.

If you or someone that you know have suffered any kind of sexual assault, do not hesitate to denounce these criminal acts. Contact your local law enforcement agency (campus police, city police, or sheriff) and report the crime. Sadly almost 60% of these crimes are NEVER reported.

Sexual assault includes:
• Rape—sexual intercourse against a person’s will
• Forcible sodomy—anal or oral sex against a person’s will
• Forcible object penetration—penetrating someone’s vagina or anus, or causing that person to penetrate her or himself, against that person’s will
• Marital rape
• Unwanted sexual touching
• Sexual contact with minors, whether consensual or not (Child sexual abuse)
• Incest (Sexual intercourse or sexual intrusion between family members.)
• Any unwanted or coerced sexual contact (Sexual harassment)

What to Do if Someone You Know is Sexually Assaulted

• Believe them -A person has very little to gain by making up a story about sexual assault. (though it can be used as a weapon)
  
• Listen to them.- A victim of sexual assault needs someone who will listen to what they have to say without blame or judgment.
  
• COMFORT THEM: – Tell them you care about them and want to help. Ask how you can help.
  
• Do not tell them what to do. – A person who has been sexually assaulted has had every ounce of power and control stripped from them. They only way they are going to gain that power back is by making decisions for themselves.
  
• Give them information, provide them options, but don’t tell them what to do. A great place to get information is your local sexual assault center.
  

Get Help for Sexual Assault:

Take steps right away if you’ve been sexually assaulted:

• Get away from the attacker to a safe place as fast as you can. Then call 911 or the police.
  
• Call a friend or family member you trust. You also can call a crisis center or a hotline to talk with a counselor.
  One hotline is the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673). 

  Feelings of shame, guilt, fear, and shock are normal. It is important to get counseling from a trusted professional.

   

• Do not wash, comb, or clean any part of your body. Do not change clothes if possible, so the hospital staff can collect evidence. Do not touch or change anything at the scene of the assault.
  
• Go to your nearest hospital emergency room as soon as possible. You need to be examined and treated for any injuries you may have. Ask to be screened for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and for emergency contraception to help prevent pregnancy. The doctor will collect evidence using a rape kit to find fibers, hairs, saliva, semen, or clothing that the attacker may have left behind.
  
• You or the hospital staff can call the police from the emergency room to file a report.
  
• Ask the hospital staff about possible support groups you can attend right away.
  
• Get Counseling – Organizations like RAINN and PAR exists to help you. Your local police may have the names of local organization.
  

PepperEyes.com
is dedicated to providing you with the best and most affordable personal protection products on the market to meet the security needs of you, your family members or your business, by assisting anyone who is unwilling to become a victim of crime.  If you want to take personal responsibility for yourself, your home or your business, buy our high quality discount personal protection products and arm yourself with the knowledge of the best way to stay secure in an ever-increasing violent world. In today’s society being equipped mentally and physically is no longer an option. – Victor Swindell